There’s a quiet ache that many people carry:
“I wish I could say what I really feel.”
“I don’t want to upset anyone.”
“I always go along with things — even when I don’t want to.”
Assertiveness isn’t about being loud or forceful. It’s not about winning arguments.
It’s about truth-telling. With kindness. With clarity. With courage.
And therapy helps you learn how.
Why We Lose Our Voice in the First Place
Many of us were taught — directly or subtly — that our voice was too much, too emotional, too inconvenient.
Maybe you were the peacemaker in your family. Maybe you learned to scan the room and shrink to keep others comfortable. Maybe no one ever asked what you needed.
So over time, you stopped asking too.
But here’s the thing: Your voice didn’t vanish.
It’s still there — just buried beneath years of self-doubt, overthinking, and fear of conflict.
Therapy is the space where that voice gets to return.
What Assertiveness Looks Like in the Therapy Room
In therapy, we practice:
- Saying “I need…” without apology
- Naming discomfort instead of hiding it
- Exploring why certain conversations feel impossible
- Setting limits without guilt
- Disagreeing — and staying safe
And it’s not just about practicing out there in the world. It happens in the room too. When you tell your therapist, “I didn’t feel heard,” or “That didn’t sit right with me,” you’re doing assertiveness work right then and there.
Assertiveness Is Not Harsh — It’s Honest
You can be kind and assertive.
You can be loving and clear.
You can take up space without taking away from others.
Your voice doesn’t need to roar. It just needs to be yours.
Gentle Journal Prompt
Think about a time recently when you held back your opinion or didn’t express a need.
- What were you afraid might happen?
- What would it feel like to say the thing you’re afraid to say?
- What support would you need to speak that truth next time?