There’s a quiet kind of power in knowing where you end and where others begin.
We often think of boundaries as walls, as something cold or rigid — but in therapy, boundaries are more like garden fences: they don’t shut others out, they protect what’s growing within.
If you’ve ever felt drained after a conversation, said “yes” when you meant “no,” or stayed quiet to keep the peace — you’ve bumped up against a boundary that may need tending.
Why Boundaries Matter
Boundaries are essential for:
- Emotional safety: helping us feel secure and respected
- Clarity: defining our needs, preferences, and limits
- Connection: paradoxically, healthy boundaries allow for deeper, more authentic relationships
When we don’t have clear boundaries, we often feel overwhelmed, resentful, or invisible. And for many, especially those who’ve experienced trauma or learned to people-please, boundary-setting can feel unfamiliar or even unsafe.
Where Do You Begin?
A good place to start is noticing:
- When you feel uncomfortable or resentful
- When you feel obligated to take care of someone else’s feelings
- When you override your own needs to “keep the peace”
These feelings are signals — not signs of failure, but invitations to pause and ask: What boundary is being crossed?
Try This Reflection
Grab a journal or open a note on your phone:
- What is one boundary I wish I had set in the past month?
- What made it hard to set or uphold that boundary?
- How might I gently practice that boundary again, even in a small way?
Boundary-Building Isn’t Harsh — It’s Kind
Boundary-setting isn’t about punishment. It’s about clarity and care. It’s saying:
“This is how I take care of myself, so I can show up more fully — for me, and for you.”
In therapy, we explore the fears and patterns that make boundary-setting feel difficult. Together, we can practice finding your voice and learning that it’s safe to honour your own edges.